Eating Isn’t Innocent- And Shaming Isn’t Activism
Why is it socially acceptable to shame people for eating meat, but taboo to shame people for having children?
Every time I see another smug comment shaming someone for eating meat, I have to wonder: when exactly did policing food choices become a moral sport?
If we dared to suggest someone rethink having children — even though having more children undeniably impacts the planet — we'd be told, "That’s none of your business."
Yet, we’re quick to talk about individual choices in other areas, like whether or not to consume bacon. I’m not saying we should shame parents, but we should recognise that having children is just as personal a choice as any other lifestyle or consumption decision.
Here’s the thing: I don't believe shame is the answer. Not for parenting, not for food, not for anything that touches on survival, culture, or lived reality.
And food is not purity contest.
The bees showed me something most people miss: if you dare to look beyond the conventional, you will find the way back to nature. Animal husbandry was never meant to be about squeezing profit out of living beings. It's meant to be about nourishment, and respect. Not control. Not profit. Not exploitation. Just real relationship, flowing both ways.
There is no cruelty-free aisle under capitalism.
None.
Not even the organic one with the charming kraft paper labels.
Industrial animal farming is horrific.
It’s violent, it’s soulless, and it’s wrong.
But you can’t preach against one kind of monoculture and then turn a blind eye to the others. Avocado plantations. Almond & cherry orchards. Celery, pumpkin, berries, chocolate… Massive fields stripped bare for single crops, drowning in chemicals, destroying pollinators, displacing wildlife.
If you're going to condemn cruelty, you have to see all of it, not just the parts that make you feel morally superior.
Plant agriculture relies on exploited labour and devastating land practices.
Insects, pollinators, and entire ecosystems are sacrificed so we can have tofu burger and avocado toast. Even the "plant-based" options many vegans praise are drenched in unseen blood.
And yes here I am thinking about honey bees, who are trucked across continents, drugged, mutilated, and worked to death to pollinate the food crops that end up on vegan and non-vegan plates.
(And yes, that's real — look up "migratory beekeeping" and "pollination services" if you want the receipts.)
I’m a bee-centric beekeeper. I care for my bees in ways that honour their natural rhythms, not the demands of profit or production. And I know others who do the same. Small scale beekeepers. Small scale farmers… People who have real relationships with the land and its creatures.
Choice itself is a luxury.
What you put on your plate is shaped by your body, your culture, your geography, your economic reality.
When vegans (especially white, wealthy ones) shame others for "not being pure enough," they reveal a deep misunderstanding and a profound disrespect for people who live differently. Billions of people in Asia and Africa still rely on animal agriculture. Many Eastern European countries still practice agriculture the traditional way.
You can hold your own values without turning them into weapons.
You can model compassion without demanding compliance.
You can care without shaming.
Shame isn't saving the planet.
It’s not healing the soil.
It’s not healing the bees.
It’s not healing the oceans — or us.
It doesn’t make anyone “better”.
It just creates more division, more cruelty and more moral grandstanding.
Some vegans - and I say this with love- need to calm the f*ck down.
You are not going to guilt people into compassion.
You are not going to shame someone into enlightenment.
We need tenderness.
We need compassion.
We need gratitude.
And we need to get real:
The system is broken.
It’s not about shaming each other into better choices.
It’s about tearing down the systems that gave us bad choices to begin with.
